April – Resident News Network https://residentnewsnetwork.com Locally owned, Locally focused news + sports Thu, 01 Apr 2021 12:13:28 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.8 https://residentnewsnetwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/cropped-R-Site-Icon-1-32x32.jpg April – Resident News Network https://residentnewsnetwork.com 32 32 FDA Finds Hot Pockets Aid In Weight Loss https://residentnewsnetwork.com/fda-finds-hot-pockets-aid-in-weight-loss/ https://residentnewsnetwork.com/fda-finds-hot-pockets-aid-in-weight-loss/#respond Thu, 01 Apr 2021 12:13:28 +0000 http://residentpress.com/?p=31620 In a recent study done by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, scientists have found that out of 100 people, 95 of them lost 10-25 pounds in a two-week period solely eating Hot Pockets. “This is the most remarkable thing we have ever seen,” stated Professor Ima Smartypants. “The participants ate one Hot Pocket three times a day for 14 days. Immediately, the weight just started falling off. It seems there is a connection between the chemical our brains produce from the joys of eating Hot Pockets and our bodies releasing fat.”

When asked about the 5 participants who showed zero response to the Hot Pocket diet, Professor Smartypants replied, “They just weren’t committed! They had the audacity to say that they found Hot Pockets to be disgusting and inedible. So we kindly asked them to leave the study. With them gone, we now have a 100 percent success rate!” With the hundreds of flavors Hot Pockets has to offer, one would be hard-pressed to get bored eating the same thing over and over on a daily basis.

While the majority of Hot Pockets are encased in a buttery flaky crust, they do also offer pretzel crust options for those looking to cut carbs. Long-time yo-yo dieter, Ginger Vitus, couldn’t be happier to finally find a diet that not only works but taste good as well. “I have tried for decades to achieve this so-called beach body I keep hearing about but everything I have tried has failed. I mean, who really has time to work out and eat right? Between work, the kids, and my nightly Real Housewives of Orange County binge sessions, I’m a busy woman. It’s nice to finally be able to grab a Pocket and go and know that the yummy rectangle of goodness will do all the work for me!”

But there are still skeptics. Lewis N. Clark from NegativeNancyville, Pennsylvania, has zero confidence that the Hot Pocket diet actually works. “So you’re telling me that to lose this 125-pound spare tire, all I have to do is eat Hot Pockets all day? If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is!” Professor Smartypants concluded, “Just like everything else in life, don’t knock it til’ you try it.” As for me, I’m off to get beach body ready!

#FakeNews

]]> https://residentnewsnetwork.com/fda-finds-hot-pockets-aid-in-weight-loss/feed/ 0 MMS 7th Grade Students of the Month for April https://residentnewsnetwork.com/mms-7th-grade-students-of-the-month-for-april/ https://residentnewsnetwork.com/mms-7th-grade-students-of-the-month-for-april/#respond Fri, 04 May 2018 00:29:43 +0000 http://residentpress.com/?p=4894 The Mansfield Middle School has been tremendously blessed with outstanding leaders of tomorrow.  Instead of presenting a group of students of the month, we will attempt to select two students each week from different grades to highlight their abilities and educational success.
7th Grade students of the month for April are Greyson Baggett and Alina Lawhon.  Both students were nominated by their teachers for outstanding qualities they display by being positive leaders and helpful students and peers.
Greyson and Alina have transitioned well from 6th to 7th grade.  Greyson was nominated for his hard work and dedication in the classroom as well as his joyful spirit.  Alina has been a persistent worker, with a hardworking demeanor and quiet demeanor.  Greyson and Alina work hard in each and every class and are working at impacting others that are around them.  We hope that both students continue to grow and work on being positive students and leaders at Mansfield Middle School.
Here are some key facts that Greyson and Alina would like to share:
Greyson Baggett                                                                                                  Alina Lawhon
Favorite Subject Social Studies                                                                             Favorite subject Science
Hobby:  Sports and PS 4                                                                                       Hobby:  Sports and Cheer
Funniest School Memory: Too many and don’t want to incriminate myself.          Funniest School Memory: When I tripped and fell over my foot.
Favorite Movie: None                                                                                            Favorite Movie: Warm Bodies
Embarrassing Moment: Too many and don’t want to incriminate my dad.            Embarrassing Moment: Incident at the water park.
Happiest Moment: Pranks                                                                                    Happiest Moment:  When my brother got married
Favorite Book: None                                                                                            Favorite Book: None
Favorite Food: McNuggets                                                                                  Favorite Food: Chicken Nuggets
Future Aspirations: None, currently                                                                     Future Aspirations: College
Favorite Color: Purple                                                                                         Favorite Color: Royal Blue
Congratulations to Greyson, Alina, and their parents for having such great young students.
Thanks for such great students from Mansfield Middle School.

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