By Rebekah Hall
U of A System Division of Agriculture
Though gathering with family and friends is a joyful part of the holiday season, navigating political tension can lead to hurt feelings. Brittney Schrick, extension associate professor and family life specialist for the University of Arkansas System Division of Agriculture, said setting firm boundaries about the topics up for discussion and redirecting conversation to shared interests and neutral subjects are key to maintaining a cheerful atmosphere.
“If you don’t want to talk about politics, then you need to say, ‘I’m not going to talk about that,’” Schrick said. “And if the other person insists, then you need to be willing to leave the conversation. If you can, avoid interactions with people whom you know are going to escalate tension or conflict — even if it’s your grandmother.
“I’m not an advocate of breaking up family relationships over political issues,” she said. “However, your mental health and your stress level do have physical health repercussions, so if you don’t have to put yourself in that situation, I wouldn’t.”
Be assertive, but not mean, and try to change the subject to a shared interest or a more neutral topic, such as looking forward to seeing a mutual friend or relative.
“Redirection is always good, and sometimes it can be a really clunky segue from ‘I’m not going to talk about this’ into ‘So, how was your drive?’” Schrick said. “But that’s okay because an awkward change of topic is worth avoiding potential conflict.”
Spend less, mitigate stress
In addition to navigating tricky conversations, many individuals and families face tighter holiday budgets for their gatherings and gift exchanges. For those who plan on traveling to see family and friends, Schrick recommends “making your travel worthwhile.”
“It’s important to stick within your means, because you don’t want to start off the next year in a strain,” Schrick said. “Gas prices always increase a bit around the holidays, so if you’ll be driving, go for long enough to make the trip worth it. Take as few vehicles as possible, and get your oil changed first to help with gas mileage.”
When it comes to the big holiday meal or party, hosts can ask guests to share the load by having a potluck.
“Do things that don’t necessarily have to be high cost,” Schrick said. “Especially if you’re feeding a crowd, a potluck is always a good idea. It spreads out the expense across everyone who’s participating, as opposed to the host having to do everything.”
Schrick said that in addition to food costs, hosts can also incur higher water and heating bills during the festivities, especially if guests are staying in their home. To offset this, “you may need to have an uncomfortable conversation,” Schrick said.
Even for people who love to take on hosting duties, it is reasonable to ask guests to pitch in.
“You can say to your guests, ‘It would be really helpful if you could throw in 10 dollars or bring a dish,’” Schrick said. “You’re going to have those folks whom you don’t necessarily want to bring a dish — because that’s not their gift — but they can bring the drinks or the napkins. There are plenty of ways to have it be more of a family or friends affair.”
For gift giving, Schrick said people should be willing to pull back on the number of gifts they give and focus instead on quality.
“Generally speaking, most people would appreciate getting a couple of nice gifts rather than getting a ton of things that are less quality,” Schrick said.
Schrick advised starting a new tradition by switching from each person buying gifts for every family member and instead taking a Secret Santa-style approach, where each person draws the name of another and only buys gifts for them.
“This can help bring costs down for everyone while creating a new experience that has the fun element of surprise,” Schrick said. “It can become something your family looks forward to and shifts the focus to finding gifts that really reflect the recipient.”
For more information and resources about family life, visit the Cooperative Extension Service’s Personal and Family Well-Being page.
To learn about extension programs in Arkansas, contact your local Cooperative Extension Service agent or visit www.uaex.uada.edu. Follow us on X and Instagram at @AR_Extension. To learn more about Division of Agriculture research, visit the Arkansas Agricultural Experiment Station website: https://aaes.uada.edu. Follow on X at @ArkAgResearch. To learn more about the Division of Agriculture, visit https://uada.edu/. Follow us on X at @AgInArk.
About the Division of Agriculture
The University of Arkansas System Division of Agriculture’s mission is to strengthen agriculture, communities, and families by connecting trusted research to the adoption of best practices. Through the Agricultural Experiment Station and the Cooperative Extension Service, the Division of Agriculture conducts research and extension work within the nation’s historic land grant education system.
The Division of Agriculture is one of 20 entities within the University of Arkansas System. It has offices in all 75 counties in Arkansas and faculty on five system campuses.
The University of Arkansas System Division of Agriculture offers all its Extension and Research programs to all eligible persons without regard to race, color, sex, gender identity, sexual orientation, national origin, religion, age, disability, marital or veteran status, genetic information, or any other legally protected status, and is an Affirmative Action/Equal Opportunity Employer.
