By Dr. Curtis Varnell
Mother’s Day for our area always begins with “decoration” at the cemetery or our ancestors. Decoration is a Southern tradition and is found from Alabama to Texas. Decoration predates Memorial Day, a national holiday primarily created to honor the military dead.
Decoration Day is thought to have origins in the Welch holiday called “Flowering Sunday” during which the natives covered graves with local flowers and greenery on Palm Sunday. In the South, it became prevalent after the Civil War and was a way to remember the many loved ones lost as a result of that terrible war.
In Arkansas and surrounding states, Decoration is not set on a particular date but generally is held during a Sunday in May. My family, like many others in the region, have family members and ancestors buried in multiple cemeteries so the dates and times are scattered throughout the month so people can attend as many events as possible.
Decoration in the South is more than a memorial, it is a part of our culture as is many of our burial practices. It is a way of celebrating our common ancestry, family ties, and our religious faith. Most of the cemeteries started out a family plots which gradually increased in size as the years went by. At Hickory Grove, the Canada, Varnell, Case, and Rhinehearts buried their deceased loved ones on a lonely hill covered by white oak trees. Once located adjacent to the small village of St. Louis Valley, it is now isolated and a part of the national forest.
Hickory Grove is typical of most of the Decoration Day events. Prior to Decoration Sunday, family members meet and clean the cemetery. Grass is mowed, the stones cleaned, and the earth mounded back over the sites. Family member began to arrive early; the mist is still rising up the side or Rich Mountain but some of the people have already driven for hours to ensure that they have time to visit with friends and relatives that are seen once or twice a year. Small familial groups gather around family plots, remembering those that have gone on before. Stories are told, events remembered, and gossip repeated as the graves are decorated.
Most people today have prepared wreaths of plastic flowers that are inserted into the earth or placed on gravestones. During my childhood, my grandmother made her own flowers. She could make realistic looking flowers from simple items found in the household. Her roses had beautiful green stems, shaped leaves, and flowering blossoms created from crepe paper and bailing wire. The children helped by making carnations from colored tissue paper, often creating dozens of blooms to be laid on the many graves. Live daffodils, rose buds, and iris blossoms were laid across graves and the cemetery became a kaleidoscope of vibrant fragrance and colors.
Mid-morning, all the groups gathered beneath one of the large oak trees. Song books were passed out and the old hymns joyfully sang as people recalled their common religious heritage. At Hickory Grove, the Rev. Gorman Daniel preached a sermon of remembrance to those that attended, reminding them of their religious past. Woe to us kids who forgot to be respectful during the sermon. Once forgetting the service, my friends and I were loudly playing in the old church house once located in the corner of the cemetery. We were quickly and forcefully reminded of our obligations and it was a lesson remembered to this day.
Decoration, especially those falling on Mother’s Day, was also a time for family and church dinners. All of the family members gathered at the church or at one of the family members home. Tables groaned from the weight of the ham, turkey, BBQ, and trimmings. Banana pudding, jello dishes, cookies, and so many different pies and cakes covered the tables that it was impossible to sample them all.
Those traditions still continue. Mother’s Day found us at Hickory Grove, family members were present, a sermon was delivered, and we had lunch with family members afterward. Not a many present as years gone by, most of those attending was of an older generation. Hopefully, our present generation will realize the importance of their cultural past and of our familial heritage as they age.
